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08:14 GMT         Day 34 of 90, Season 65    

The Green Fairy - Ed. 4
by Yuri, at 17/3-22 - 16:55 GMT

  Written by Don Hamstre from Schiavi di Don
  History and Myths: The Mysteries of the Team Time Trial
  Some people might scroll over it without even noticing. Some might think it’s a spelling mistake. Only a few people know of the secrets of Vejle TTT.
  Time Trialing, it’s always been the outsider of OCM. Maybe it’s because it used to be an easy money maker, and might still be. Maybe it’s because of all the WT Managers that miss out on so many points because they do not have a TT’ er.
  My theory is that it’s loathed because there is no team aspect to it. Team Spirit is irrelevant, riders can be purely egoistic. The greatest time trailers have never had to rely on their teammates to perform. Although that isn’t quite true. Because for 5 seasons, there was a Team Time Trial: Vejle TT. In its first edition, it was already clear that the race had no future. Not because it was disliked, but because Team Zyte, the commissioner’s team, lost the race. From then onwards, a slander campaign was held against it. It was ‘ bugged’, and therefore no further editions should be held. Somehow, the race survived for 5 editions, with snyltarane winning two. They will forever be the team that won the most TTT’ s. Or will they? Who knows if somehow, the future will be kind to Vejle TTT.
  Before the Tour (but probably after)
  Written by Yuri
  Our Tour’s Column this month will start with some fresh news, all new 7 Tours are officially presented and part of the calendar this Season! Here’s the list:
   Taiwan Black Bear Tour - Bernard Cowell (Spin Doctors)
   The Two Pass Tour - David Hornbostel (Equipo Easy On)
   Rundfahrt der Schlösser der Alpen - Radoslav Dechev (Matrix team)
   El Corazón de México
   El Tocororo
   Tour of the Western Cape
   Jawlat Oman Lesalahef
  You can take the opportunity to check the amazing jerseys for each Tour (Design by top notch artist Christian from Team WonderDee). Who will win the first edition of each Tour?
  But not only of new Tours is this column made of! And so far this season, we have had a lot, 11 Tours to be more precise! Since our last edition, this is what happened:
  Top Division:
  - Tweedaagse van Antwerpen
  The Top Cobblers had once again their moment of the season to shine and Benjamim Fontes (Cokol Breakaway Team) was the biggest of them! A well-deserved win for this superstar! Morris Napolano (Il Grillo) finished just 1” behind him (amazing fight until the last breath!) and Fred Nilis (Skeel) (up for sale by the way!) rounded up the podium! Carlton Sword (team dustin) was the YC winner.
  Zyte Division:
  - Volta ao Porto
  One of the biggest Tours in OCM always attracts the best competitors! Despite the amazing quality of the favourites, Albín Komprs (CyclingClubChomutov) didn’t give a chance to anyone else and was the big dominator of the Tour! Dmitry Salko (Manisaspor) and Uwe Gassner (Sicco) rounded up the podium where the TT skill had an average of 87! Guess we all know what it takes to win the Tour!
  Hermann Normann (PEKAC B) won the SC and Charalabos Paboridis (pollyjean) took the YC. Both have had some amazing performances and between them won half of the stages from the Tour.
  - Haute-Normandie
  After the cobble Tour in the Top Division, it’s time for the cobblers on the Zyte division to fight for a Tour win! Still, the winner is a pretty well known face, Gracjan Uchman (V02maXXers) who won the Tour for the 4th time! Joshua Tuitert (DeRodeLantaarn) came 2nd and took the YC home while last season’s double-winner Kunjufu Muhumusa (Nairobi City Cycling Club) came 3rd.
  - Cymru Taith
  Some call it the pre-Essex, or the Essex Mini, but the Tour is Wales has a class on its own! 52 editions of pure class and drama! Armand Maïga (Nairobi City Cycling Club) is the most recent winner, stealing an hattrick of wins from Otokar Vorel (CyclingClubChomutov) by just 5”! Hubert Philibert (Spin Doctors) (another previous winner) took home 3rd place. Uho Cardoso (Goege Team) took a surprising

YC home!
  3rd Division:
  - Giro di Montelbano
  The Tour in honour of our great Sandro Montelbano had, as usual in the Tour panorama, Czech power dominating it! But this time, the Czech rider is riding for a Spanish team, Vilém Suchomel (ekaitz team)! Nice to see a team this old still winning stuff! Soulrider are you still there? Adam Reis (Snooman) came on a close 2nd place while Eddie Snowden (Sasol Leeus) finished 3rd. Drosmis Fadejevs (Team Dopage) won the YC.
  - Norway Tour
  Time to move to the cold North into Norway (during winter time!). Surely only a rider used to the cold weather can win the Tour! Well, just ask Aron Shiningayamwe (Nairobi City Cycling Club) a Namibian rider who just won the Tour back-to-back! Radoslav Dechev (Matrix team) did everything to repeat the success he had in the Alps but came only 2nd while Jarolím Samko (Lokomotíva Zvolen) was 3rd. Rupert Hootman (CARO BIKE TEAM) won the SC, while Radoslav Dechev (Matrix team) won the YC for the 2nd time!
  4th Division:
  - Rundfahrt der Schlösser der Alpen
  The first ever edition of the Tour around the Alps had some experienced teams fighting for it! Radoslav Dechev (Matrix team) took the GC, the YC … and every single stage won home in a monster performance! Fico Nato (Schiavi di Don) on his last captaincy on a Tour finished 2nd while Hagen Hunzberger (Lindfield Locknuts) finished in 3rd place.
  - Edmonton Red Deer Tour
  Moving to Canada and its hilly roads, we get an exciting Tour with the final podium within 23”! Martino Estrada (Amazonia) was the deserved winner while Rafa? Figura (Tashkent Browncoats) and Kenzo Texier (Beardy Bikers) need to try to figure out what else they need to do to win the Tour next season! Jan Ramstad (Belmonte Pro Cycling) won the YC.
  5th Division:
  - Monte Rosa Tour
  The Swiss Tour is always an exciting one and this season every manager had a chance to compete in a IBIAB competition and join the fun around the Tour. Those that enjoyed it the most selected Rinaldo Failla (BCTeam) into their teams and got the GC winner right! Danilo Mazza (FretexHIBAS) came 2nd and Adrian Ringstad (M Uno) 3rd. Glúmur Auðfinnursson (Team Longshot) was the YC winner.
  - El Corazón de México
  After the Alpen Tour, we salute yet another new Tour, this time in a hilly region in Mexico. Zanis Agrums (Totalidade) at 21 years of age will be able to brag of being the first ever GC and YC ever in Mexico! Patrick Bruggen (Team Blitz) took 2nd place... tied with Zanis on time while Oskar Adamczyk (Hard Gaat Ie) walked away “only” with a 3rd place. The podium fits in just a 3” gap! How unfortunate can Oskar be?
  7th Division:
  - Tour of the Sanreizan
  Moving down to the 7th division and the Island of Japan, we see a familiar face winning the Tour! Pyotr Lomtev (Junee Racing Team) is a back-to-back Tour winner (time to move up the ranks, young sir!). Jachob Busk, Budapesti VSC finished 2nd just 9” behind while Adriano Inbrioarloto (Australian Warlord) was 3rd. Algernon Joubert (mapei Bianchi) was the YC winner (curious to see Australian Warlord and mapei Bianchi here!).
  The Travels of Fujimoto
  In this column, the famous Fujimoto Masaaki travels around the world to visit the nicest places on the OCM Calendar. This time, he is researching again, so perhaps he will be back next time!
   Younger Gun of the Month
  In this section, The Don hand-picks a U23 rider that shows great promise, and will try to predict his future. Will he prove to be a visionary, or will he just look stupid?
  Our Younger Gun of the Month this month, is Bradley Hammontree.
  Bradley is a very odd rider. He likes both climbing and sprinting. But due to his all-round nature, he might be perfect for the holy grail of Younger Guns: the U23-Tour La Génération Future. My predictions for his career:
  U23 Tour top-3 in GC & SC
  1 big Tour YC win
  World Championships podium
  Maybe I expect too much from him, but making predictions is no fun without a little ambition!
  Bank Of Broken Pockets
  written by Williamson
  Is it a jewelry? Or a broken toys' storage? Our market has evolved from a mere storage war auction to a dangerous no man’s land where the managers fight over the left overs of OCM Calendar. Yeah, this is my intro to this renewed and (in)famous section (check other longer examples in the archives, I’m too lazy to link any), now part of the Green Fairy. As my old mentor Jintseng says, “Great investments are surely followed by great loses”. Wise words… as usual.
  Due to paper format of GF, we’ll only include

the most important transfers, a trained (and exhausted rider) and fresh cannon fodder (talent).
  *You’ll ever walk alone?
  The title itself is a mock to some famous beetletown song. Maurits Sjögren, former winner of Giro di Montelbano YC has flown away from his team for a modest 600k fee. With his arrival, Xalbador Varela won’t walk alone during the sprint calendar. A vice captain for the great spaniard and it remarks the good job manager Gonzalo has done for Zalom. Actually, Maurits is planning to do some hiking in Sierra Nevada and discovering Spanish wonders while avoiding authorities because of new taxes to foreign sportsmen. Spain is different…
  *New Toys R US
  Yes, all the Belgians are so talented. And yes, most of them max high. To be honest, I’ve received a poor bribe from Erwin to include Stanny Vercouteren in this section. Why? This rider has not won a U23 race, nor a Div 11, recently turned 25 years old and his Team Spirit (a magical spell, more info at Manual) is shred. Then why Stanny is here? I already say it, Belgians are talented. You don’t believe me? Check out his potential.
  CL: None (43)
  DH: None (31)
  HL: None (32)
  SP: None (26)
  FR: None (30)
  CB: None (28)
  TT: None (28)
  TQ: None (30)
  CL: Very good
  DH: Good
  HL: Good
  SP: Small
  FR: None
  CB: None
  TT: Small
  TQ: None
  A 220+ CL dude. A future old gun (not young anymore), the future of mankind. Not really, but the purge between managers ended with a clear bloody winner, 1 2 Cycle, a one week battle and bid after bid, the final release price was 480k. Born climber, 106 points, 114 training points can make it for Stanny. Not an impossible mission, if so; may Tom Cruise save us.
  Getting too comfortable and enjoying? This is over, so better move on to the next paragraph and next segment. We’ll be back when Don says so and post the next article in the front page. Need Market Advices from the best? Message Jintseng, author of worldwide famous best-sellers “Economy for Dummies", “How to waste your money in one transfer", “Scout like a beast, bid like a freak" and many others.
  Who would win?
  Team AEK’s sprint train in a CB race, or Cokol Breakaway Team’s cobble squad in a SPrace?
  The Dark Side
  The place to be for all your Time Trial news!
  The Dark Side has been whispering to me to write about them more, and since I gave into them in the history section, I will hold strong and ignore them here!
  Hemorrhoid Corner
  This section will keep you informed about unlucky riders who got injured. Poor them!
  Spiridon Bondarczuk of Tram Formand United managed to get injured three times in less than 60 days. What an incredible feat! He also caused a wave of injuries in his team , making him such a star of Hemmorhoid Corner, that it would be unfair to him to mention any others.
  The Final Straight
  We close off with the latest gossip!
  With the 3-month strike of Universal Soup’s riders, some human rights advocates have started noticing that maybe OCM riders are not treated as they should. I think it is in our best interest to stop these people from giving our riders bad ideas. What next, paying them?
  Music might be coming to the Green fairy. If you have any suggestions for good music for your or my riders to listen to while racing, get in touch!
  We’ll be back next month with more news on all the wheelings and dealings in OCM!
   If you have ideas for your own section, or for new sections for us to write, or even if you want your rider mentioned in one of the sections, you can contact main editor Don Hamstre through PM. Especially input for Hemorrhoid Corner and The Final Straight is welcomed!
  Tired of reading The Green Fairy? Noticed how little they pay attention to what they are advertising? Get a subscription to Chat Tabloids.The real proper place to get your OCM news and gossip!


Team WonderDee at 18:06 17/3-2022
  Thanks for your kind words Don :)

Navarone Cycling Team at 18:16 17/3-2022
  Who would win?
   Team AEK’s sprint train in a CB race, or Cokol Breakaway Team’s cobble squad in a SPrace?
  we need concrete races to tell for sure :)

Schiavi di Don at 19:20 17/3-2022
  The kind words were Yuri's @Christian, but they represent my view as well. ;)

Silenzio at 20:22 17/3-2022
  The Green Fairy isnt the same without Fujimoto :} Nice read though, and Stanny, your shredded ts will be fine in no time!

ABK at 20:39 17/3-2022
  At Team ABK the only music allowed is Metallicas Disposable Heroes, just so they remember that, "You will do what I say, when I say, Back to the front!"

paceuts at 20:42 17/3-2022
  Great piece. I’ll go for AEK’s sprint team. :P

Australian Warlord at 22:29 18/3-2022
  Universal Soup is too kind to his cyclists, they forget their station. I've got a slave salt mine I could let him use for a re-educat... Training Camp for a few weeks.

GummyBear Vosta at 18:17 31/3-2022
  I'll go for GummyBear Vosta

Team Formand United at 10:13 11/4-2022
  Spiridon Bondarczuk is now sold - my support for Ukraine wasn't that huge when I found out that he was super injury prone as a 35+ year rider. Not much Valverde in that guy :)

Team Formand United at 10:24 30/4-2022
  Dear Donny Hamster, the injury list here this season at Team Formand United is never ending.
  Now two injuries. Just got one back from injury few days ago, then another one was added (Podnieks). I hope the season soon ends!
  Orlando will be back from injury today, the algo promises.