Online: 35
23:34 GMT         Day 89 of 90, Season 69    

OCM Awards Gala S66
by Yuri, at 22/11-23 - 15:15 GMT

  Written by Don Hamstre, Williamson, dustin, Hugo Noil, and Alexander
  Narrator: Some people say you shouldn’t organise an important event while you’re hungry. Don disagrees, so the following events are all his fault.
  Don: I woke up feeling a bit peckish. And it just happened to be the day when the OCM Awards Gala was planned. So why would I not use this event to my advantage? Of course I could just order a takeaway, but it’s much better to get global cuisine delivered to you from people that aren’t getting paid for it. Everything tastes better with a little extortion.
  So I made the Awards Gala food themed, in the hope that either the riders or some Awards Gala interns would give me the food I craved. Let the fun begin!
  LAW: Welcome to the yummiest edition of the OCM Awards ceremony. There’s no way for a cyclist to stay fit with such delicious dessert (stares at the homemade lemon pie baked by grandma for the ceremony). So who’s gonna be the lucky rider to earn this sweet prize along with his trophy? We are about to find out very soon, however, I’d like to assure to the nominees that banned riders from Committee will not start throwing tomatoes at you when you stand here to give your speech (hidden among the crowd, an old grunting Benjamim Fontes grabs a tomato so hard its juice splashed his smoking). With further ado, let’s get started!
  Our first winner of the night will be Best Flat Road Rider. No one would have expected this result as we all know his favorite dessert is grandma’s lemon pie! With 24 votes, S66 Best Flat Road award goes to… Jacques Achterberg!!!
  (Applauses from crowd)
  LAW: Congratulations Jacques, what an amazing season! Of course, you were my favorite rider for the award, so I feel happy too (hands the lemon pie to Achterberg).
  JA: Thanks… uhm… the trophy – he feels surprised to receive just a lemon pie.
  LAW: The Committee will make sure you’ll receive the trophy. In the meantime, you may enjoy this terrific dessert baked by grandma.
  Achterberg nods, despite he’s very suspicious.
  LAW: Alright folks, I know you might be thirsty after all this waiting, so pick the best choice in the market, cold tasty Amstel beer. Just a sip and your life will be forever changed. OCM Awards are also sponsored by Bargain Sharks; the official Master Jintsen's consultants, they make the best offer for your budget; you only bring the cash to pay!
  Now, I wish I could hand the coming award to someone else. Yep, it was a tight race between two great guys; but only one can get the trophy (LAW forgot in case of a tie, they share the award, or at last they should). So… the A. Hetland Trophy for Best Hiller, with 17 votes; goes to… Karlheiz Zöllner
  LAW grunts quietly, Zöllner jumps on his way to the scenario.
  LAW: Well done, Karlheiz. It was probably one of the most exciting polls in this season. Nice performance, how do you feel about this?
  KZ: I feel so grateful to be honored by all of you with this great trophy and to be considered the best Hiller in the business.
  LAW: Here, another special award, grandma’s lemon pie (pours a few drops of some unknown bottle).
  KZ: I don’t think I like lemon pie, sir.
  LAW: It’s mandatory to receive both the trophy and the pie, Committee rules.
  Zöllner leaves the stage.
  LAW: Yes… he will not know what will happen… I mean, it’s time to go back to Don, who’s fascinated by grandma’s secret ingredient and also enjoys a cold Amstel!
  Don: I think I’ll pass on grandma’s lemon pie and the Amstel if you don’t mind Williamson. Of course I eat a little bit of poison every day to make myself immune, but there’s still some forms of poison left that might get me! Now back to the show, What is it that smells so delicious Frank?"
  Frank (co host): "I only hope they keep some for us."
  Don: "Indeed, I hope they don’t forget us."
  In the meantime backstage.
  Fidelio Marina: "I am hungry, I hope they have something to eat for me."
  Florian Brönnimann: "I am only thirsty."
  Fidelio Marina: "I am really hungry, it smells so good."
  Don (award host): "And now it is time for the 'Best U23 Rider' award, here we go. The fourth place is for Kayin Obasanjo from team Biertje. Frank, can you give him his present."
  Frank (co host): "Of Course, it smells good, Kayin, can you tell me what it is?"
  Kayin Obasanjo: "It is kedjenou, a traditional meal in my home country. One of my favorites, it is chicken with onions, tomatoes, garlic, and more. Thanks"
  Fidelio Marina (backstage): "Looks good, I am hungry, when is it my time?"
  Don: "Next, third is Florian Brönnimann from team The Great Outdoors, Frank it is to you."
  Frank: "Florian, I have Rösti for you, I eat it often when I am in your country."
  Florian Brönnimann: "Thanks, also happy with the third place."
  Fidelio Marina (backstage): "I also want Rösti."
  Don: "Cong Jinbo, from team Sigue Sigue Sputnik, you are second, congratulations."
  Frank: "Cong, for you I have Beef noodle soup, do you like that?"
  Cong Jinbo: "Yes, I like that very much."
  Fidelio Marina (backstage): "Noodles, noodles, Rösti, Rösti, kedjenou, kedjenou, now is it my turn, food, food, ..."
  Don (award host): "And the winner of this award is Fidelio Marina from team Stroopwafel, congrats, Frank can you give him his award."
  Frank (co host): "Fidelio, where are you, here I have your award, it is for you."
  Fidelio Marina shouting from backstage: "Keep your award, I do not want him, I want food."
  The Erwinator in backstage to Fidelio Marina: "Wait a bit, I have 'food' enough."
  Don: I wouldn’t fall for that trick Fidelio!

You might test positive on some interesting stuff after a dinner at his training facilities… Also, lovely nominees, please hand over that food to me, I hope you didn’t think you were allowed to eat that? Of course due to safety precautions we are not allowed to let you. Just give it to me and I’ll make it disappear. We’ll take a short break and come back with more categories!
  (Don arrives after the break. His suit is stained with tomato, cheese, and noodles)
  I hope everyone enjoyed the free food in the break! Oh, you didn’t have any free food? Oops, my mistake! Any way, back to the show. Please welcome Hugo Noil.
  *people clap but no one comes on stage*
  Don: Hugo? *whispers* Where is he?
  *Xabat Pinelo gets up and walks on stage*
  Xabat: Yeah, let me take it from here. *sigh*
  Xabat: Hello everyone my name is Xabat and I'm the PR manager for Mr Noil... Anyway, it's an honour to present to you the Eleonor Berka Trophy for Best Downhiller.The nominees are: Torben Hecker, Oskar Debnár, Ingram Isaacs and Shimon Samuels.
  And the winner is... Ingram Isaacs!!
  *Ingram comes on stage while Don gives a piece of paper to Xabat*
  Don to Xabat: I know but Hugo agreed, you have to do it.
  Xabat: Right... Hey Ingram! Don just gave me your prize, it's a ticket for a free cheeseburger at Bob's burgers. Did you know Bob's Burgers are the best in town? *turns to Don* Which town? *Don Shrugs*
  Please come to Bob's Bugers and if you mention you come from OCM you will receive a free small package of fries.
  *Hugo Noil comes running onstage dressed as a hot dog*
  Hugo: Oh shoot, what did I miss?
  Xabat: I just gave the downhiller award and read the silly ad.
  Hugo. Aw man, Bob will be pissed, anyway... *shouts* What's up Orlando?
  Xabat whispers: We are not in Orlando
  Hugo: Xabat here is going to the buffet while i present to you The Jan-Joost Dussel Trophy for Best Sprinter!!! I can feel the excitement in the Air.
  *Hugo notices Ingram is still on stage*
  Hugo: Hey man, go take your seat or better yet, go for your cheeseburger!!
  *Ingram walks offstage shaking his head*
  Hugo: And the nominees for best sprinter are: Eddie Ulrichsen, Isidoro Morgovejo, Lieven Krol and last but not least Joop De Wispelaere.
  The winner is: Isidoro Morgovejo!!! wow what a surprise right?
  *Isidoro comes on stage*
  Hugo: Ahem... right, yeah I mean, this will be awkward... Well, Isidoro truth is I voted for Eddie and thought he was gonna win, so I reserved a trip to Italy, a dinner for two and a full weekend full of culinary surprises for two... now this trip is under Eddie's name so, why don't you go together?
  Congrats Isidoro and enjoy your culinary trip to Italy with Eddie!! It will be awesome, I am sure.
  Okay that's everything from me, I will continue helping the old man out of the venue sell his hotdogs, if you want, come outside to enjoy 'em, three dollars one hotdog or two for five dollars. Okay, take it from here Don. Thanks again Orlando!
  *Hugo runs offstage*
  Don: Thanks Hugo, I sure hope you booked them at one of my places, otherwise you might get a culinary surprise of your own later today! (whispers to one of the assistants to ‘prepare the vegetable oil’)
  And now time for our second-favourite Australian, it’s Alexander!
  Alexander enters the stage wearing a long black wig carrying a blue guitar.
  Alx "Welcome, welcome and in 'Times Like These' I think we would all agree that to be the Best Tour Team you have to 'Learn to Fly'"
  Weird wahing noises play in the background.
  Alx "Welcome to the Foo Fighters themed Award for Best Tour Team"
  Alexander places a finger in his ear and a confused look runs over Alexanders face.
  Alx "What do you mean the theme is Food? That is the dumbest theme I ever heard of? I am dressed as bloody Dave Grohl."
  Alexander looks back towards the audience as all enthusiasm drains from his face.
  Alx "Well ...."
  Alx "Coming in 4th with 0 votes in LoleursLovers"
  Alx "Coming in 3rd with 4 votes is Silenzio"
  Silenzio visibly shudders when he hears Alexander call out his name. *Perhaps PTSD
  Alx "In 2nd place PEKAC B with 11 votes"
  Alx "The winner with 23 votes and the honour to call themselves The Best Tour Team of Season 66 is CyclingClubChomutov"
  Michael jumps out of his seat and raises his hand in the rock and roll symbol for everyone to see.
  Don: I am quite happy I didn’t give any of you free food now, because you might have started a food fight after that raucous act. Well, at least there wasn’t any slime, so I guess Alexander is improving. Speaking of which, here he is again!
  Alexander returns to the stage.
  Alx "Due to the mix-up with the theme I have decided the enlist the help of OCM's one and only Potato Farmer Dwalin of Byttingvik to try and resurrect the Award for Best Young Rider"
  Dwalin enters the stage in a head to toe gold tuxedo.
  Dwalin "Glad to help you at the last minutes like always Alexander. I actually have some experience in this category having trained a few potatoes myself"
  Alx "Dwalin if fourth place was a potato what would it be?"
  Dwalin "The Russet Potato, very good for making French fries"
  Alx "So our Russet Potato with 3 pts is Axel Cassar Desain"
  Dwalin "3rd would be a Purple potato, part of the sweet potato family and I believe quite common in Taiwan

  Alx "That is correct Dwalin, our Purple Potato is Santiago Souto Maior with 4 votes"
  Dwalin "2nd is a no brainer, the Sweet Potato. So many health benefits but it’s a great meal for your post workout helping you recover quicker."
  Alx "Pumped up in 2nd place is Geir Gilje with 6 votes"
  Dwalin "Number one is the Red Potato. Vitamins, minerals, anti-cancer and anti-inflammatory properites, good for the eyes and brain. It is the Super Potato"
  Alx "Well Lieven Krol must only eat Red Potatos with his performance. The winner with 26 votes for the Best Young Rider of season 66 Lieven Krol"
  Lieven Krol runs onto the stage unable to hide his excitement.
  Alx "So Lieven as a reward I would like you to deliver a special award for us this evening. Dwalin what would you say was the worst kind of potato?"
  Dwalin "That would be the Couch Potato Alex"
  Alx "Well Lieven if you would just press this red button to deliver the award to this seasons Couch Potato, Silenzio"
  All blood drains from Erwinators face as he looks to the ceiling just in time to see a fountain of yellow slime rain down onto himself.
  Yuri who found himself seated behind the victim hands him a napkin from under the old fashioned he is nursing.
  Don: That better be edible slime Alexander! I am starving after all this potato talk. Now we’ll wait until our nominees are ready to go on stage for the Award for Best Manager of the Season!
  The Erwinator (cleaning the slime off his suit): "I will win this award, it is my season."
  Donald: "I think I have an equal chance as you, so let’s see what it shall be."
  Phil: "I expect not too much, I am happy to be nominated."
  The Erwinator: "Donald, I shall be really disappointed/frustrated when I do not win. A short time ago I was in the north of Sweden, and I saw something, a kind of surprise."
  Michael Danner: "I can also win."
  The Erwinator: "No way, it shall be for me! I didn’t come all the way here just to get slimed again!"
  (They walk out on stage)
  Don: "The Award for Best Manager of the Season is next, always interesting to see who wins this award. Frank, have you already won this award?"
  Frank (co host): "Unfortunately not, but it stays a goal for the future."
  Don: "Let us start, fourth place for Phil (TeamTVM)."
  Frank: "Congrats Phil, you are a great manager, we shall see you back in the future."
  Phil: "Thanks, it is a great honour to be nominated for this award."
  Don: "Next, third place is for Michael Danner (CyclingClubChomutov)."
  Frank: "Congratulations Michael Danner, had you expected this?"
  Michael Danner: "Of Course, I have a good team, and how comes that ... indeed, the manager. I have won this award once (S61) and will win it again."
  Don (award host): "The Erwinator (Silenzio) and Donald (Andeby), who shall it be, second place ..."
  Frank (co host) whisper to Don: "What happens, see, all riders from team Silenzio, I see Reynardo Ceballos, Carel Bastin, Gus Bailey, Rajnay Bela, and others, with big bags by the entrances and exits, also with something else in their hands."
  Don: "I don't know, be aware Frank."
  Don: "... second place is for The Erwinator and Donald wins the award."
  The Erwinator comes to the podium and says: "I deserve to win, but I have something for the winner, Donald, for Don and Frank, and for all of you, enjoy your meal."
  In the meantime The Erwinator and all the riders of his team put a gas mask on their heads and open the cans of Surströmming and share it out to all.
  Frank: "shouting loudly, it is Surströmming, go outside, we take a break."
  'after some minutes all are out the building, all ... no, I see one guy staying inside'
  Fidelio Marina: "Delicious, all that food, finally something to eat for me."
  (two hours and a chemical cleaning squad later)
  Don: After that insignificant little break, time for the Award for Best World Tour Manager! As I’m nominated myself, I will share my favourite recipe with you all before moving on to the results. First, take two duck legs. Marinate them in some chili. Then add some Iranian saffron. Put a potato in your throat and spit it out while doing complicated math. Pour over some globally known soup and a few drops of Moët or Port. Let a bear hug you, could even be a snowy one. Add that all together with some farfalle and you have my Pasta alla Chat!
  I would have asked for the favourite recipes of my fellow nominees, but I am pretty sure that luxury resorts in the Bahamas make terrible hot tub soup, French food is much worse than Italian food, and the Dutch people are usually surprised that food tastes better with salt. So I’ll spare you all that and get on to the results! Phil and Eli, get 4th and 3rd place but can be very proud of their seasons! Of course, it is already sure that I win this Award, so let’s move on to the congr….. (Don gets knocked on the head with a meat hammer by Erwinator)
  Erwinator: It’s time for this madness to end, the rule of the dictator is over, of course Ruurd from the Netherlands wins this Award for his incredible season!
  Crowd chants ‘down with Don’
  Erwinator: Anarchy! Now you can all decide who wins Best Rider by shouting it the loudest! I am sure this will be a cacophony of different opinions!
  Crowd all shout ‘Isidoro Morgovejo’
  Erwinator: Oh, that is disappoin…. (Don gets up behind him and tackles him with a large leek)
  Don: Your puny revolution can not stop me! Next season I will be back, even hungrier, and you better be ready!


Schiavi di Don at 15:30 22/11-2023
  We all love Erwinator so much that we made him a punchline thrice! Hope you can forgive us. ;)

Silenzio at 15:45 22/11-2023
  It's getting worse every season!

Hasee at 15:57 22/11-2023
  what a fun read! amazing work everyone... btw i am alright from the 'vegetable oil' ^-^

Schiavi di Don at 16:02 22/11-2023
  I see you have an open mind Hugo ;)

Goege Team at 18:52 22/11-2023
  Thanks guys for keeping it alive! :-)

Team Chili at 22:30 22/11-2023
  Salt, ha. Classic.
  Anyone eating food provided by Amstel needs their head checked. Lovely guy, just don't touch the food ;)
  Best event on the calendar.
  Did notice award for the best Australian was missing but I assume that's next season?

Amstel Flanders at 22:56 22/11-2023
  My food has passed the quality test, 100% true. Well done to all other guys writing!

Team Chili at 23:22 22/11-2023
  Independent testing :)

Amstel Flanders at 00:46 23/11-2023
  Best way to test.

team dustin at 13:55 23/11-2023
  Thanks all
  Thanks Don/Frank, as usual, well done
  Thanks the other Award members, great work
  Thanks the other writers, really like your stories
  - -
  "So I made the Awards Gala 'food' themed"
  next season, next theme: The Erwinator?

Velosipedska at 12:11 25/12-2023
  Great read, even though I am a bit hungry now