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15:38 GMT         Day 39 of 90, Season 67    

Norwegian Wood Beaten In Tour By Doped Riders

Written by Team Formand United at 20:25 24/4-2023

  Team Formand United's golden boy and "fjell ape" Oddvar Helgesen almost went on the podium in Stage 1 of Coppa della Famiglia del Don.
  
  It could have been one of his greatest results since the youth years, but this time Moges Morad, Smyl Kovanda and Calle Van Goolen conquered the podium - thanks to dope according to Formand Team Manager Ebbe Spas!
  
  - I am not happy to admit our sport has that kind of tricks, but yes. Some better riders today were in "all out top form" aka TF. aka. DynEPO Generation 2.0 ... Oddvar just do not do that stuff anymore, and we want to complain to Coppa Don Family Agency.
  
  - I was just happy getting quite well on the final climb, where I had a real Norwegian Wood hard-on, Oddvar "Odd" Helgesen said honestly.
  
  - But I managed to ride to the finish and almost catch the other favorites on the top. It is quite a claim made by our team, but I am quite sure that I saw them inject DynEPO Genration 2.0 at the start line this morning, he says.
  
  - Tomorrow will show if Don Hamstre will listen to our story. Now I will focus on resting with vitamin shots and also some Jumbo Baking Powder shakes and train movies.
  

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Comments


Australian Warlord at 02:50 26/4-2023
  Those who can do, those who don't have the resources complain about the unfairness of those who do, Lance Armstrong.... (well not actually but.)

Team Formand United at 09:57 25/4-2023
  Oddvar just do not do that stuff anymore!

Schiavi di Don at 22:56 24/4-2023
  No doping needed in OCM, only bribes!

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