Written by Don Hamstre of Schiavi di Don
  
  It did sound weird, I have to admit. When I got the letter, I should have gone to the police immediately. I should have stayed at home and not go there on my own. I should have brought some pizza so that I wouldn’t get hungry. But I didn’t. So once again, the Awards got a bit disturbing.
  It all started when the committee had blown the full budget on snacks again and we had to arrange a cheap location for the Awards Gala. I was told that somebody would take care of that. That wasn’t a lie, although in hindsight, it would have better been.
  Weeks had passed when the letter fell on my doorstep. When I opened it and read its content, it scared the heck out of me. ‘Come and solve a riddle for me at the Danhostel in Copenhagen. You’ll like it, the freedom of some people is depending on it though, so don’t mess up. And please don’t bring anyone to the party.’
  
  So I did. I was walking to the front door, when someone grabbed me on my shoulder. ‘I am the Outside Manager. I have a message for you. When you enter the hotel, you’ll be meeting a lot of people. Guess who they are and why they’re here and they will be free. Guess wrong and they’ll be stuck here forever. All of them are only allowed to tell you the hints that have been given to them. If they say anything else, they will be punished, so don’t try and ask them silly questions.’
  His voice sounded familiar to me, he had kind of a Spanish accent, much like alex quiros of lexx. But I was too disturbed to figure out who he was exactly and I decided it was probably better to leave him behind and enter the Hotel.
  
  In the lobby, I met the Hotel Manager. ‘I am the Best Manager you can get, I’m the nr1’ He said. Awfully full of himself the bloke, couldn’t stand him. He looked like Chris Fabio from Avataria, which didn’t make my opinion of him better. Behind the counter stood another guy, who told me he was the Hostels ‘International Manager’ and that he’d been Touring the World. His face resembled that of Llothy of Bermuda, but it obviously couldn’t be him. ‘Go to the first floor, room 106’ they told

me, so I did.
  
  When I knocked on the door, a guy who looked annoyingly like Even Erlandsen opened the door and started complaining about the rough roads he had been riding. I couldn’t stand that, so I walked away. ‘Go to the fourth floor, room 412’ he yelled at me. I decided it was probably wise to listen to him.
  In the elevator, I met a guy wearing a shirt with a rainbow on it. He told me he liked going up so fast that he almost broke through the ceiling. Luckily he didn’t have to get out on the 4th floor, he was awfully weird. He did try to convince me that the guy on the fourth floor had a fake rainbow jersey, but I had already decided he was bonkers, so I didn’t believe him.
  
  The guy that opened the door of room 412 did wear a rainbow jersey though, so I immediately turned around and walked away. He shouted something about Time and Trials, but I wouldn’t listen to a guy looking like Ludvig Passer wearing a stupid rainbow.
  When I entered another elevator in an attempt to go down and get the heck out of here, another weirdo was in it. He told me exactly the same story as the guy in the other elevator had done, about breaking through things, only he wasn’t wearing a rainbow jersey. He was dressed like a clown though and told me his name was Eivind Bjerke. ‘Isn’t that the manager of Jubalon ProCycling?’, I thought to myself, but by then he’d already kicked me out in the 7th floor, where I should go and visit room 703.
  
  A redneck resembling Max Falco opened the door and he immediately told me that ‘In ‘Murrica, we like the hills, we like ‘em very much, yeehah’. I didn’t just walk away from that, I ran. Disturbingly enough, someone started running alongside me, telling me he like Sprinting a lot. He told me his name was Bongo Longo, so I decided I was better off jumping into the nearest elevator, which didn’t even have a weirdo in it this time.
  
  The elevator brought me to the roof, and a note telling me to ‘look down’ was laying there. I tried to ignore my vertigo, but when I looked down, the sheer height of the drop made me puke all over the poor guy who was climbing up the building. His face

was barely recognisable with my morning breakfast all over it, but it looked a bit like that of Ludvig Kristiansen. He told me that he was the best at climbing. I decided looking down wasn’t my thing and I let my eyes wonder off to the guy who was cycling on the roof. After all I’d been through this morning,
  
  I didn't see this as weird, so I allowed him to speak to me. ‘I am the Best Rider Outside the building, they won’t let me in, those stupid Top floor guys’. He had brought a Belgian flag with him, so I couldn’t take the man serious, he looked too much like Dimitri Rummens any way. So I took the elevator again.
  
  There was a weirdo in it again.
  He told me he was very Old and that his career would probably only go down from here. I asked him if he was Jimmi Broders, but he reacted by throwing me out of the elevator on the next floor. ‘Go to room 1506, you fool’, was the last thing he said.
  When I opened the door, the words ‘Am I interrupting something?’ suddenly came out of my mouth. I was terribly embarrassed. The guy I had met before, with the rainbow jersey on, who was starting to look like Patryk Drozdowski to me, was sitting on top of a Columbian bloke who I'd have sworn to be Farruco Alonso. They were giving each other a massage. When I asked them what the hell they were doing, they told me ‘We are Young, we can do whatever we want’. The Columbian guy did seem to enjoy the massage a lot, so I asked him: ‘What did you do to deserve this?’. ‘I beat this guy at being the Best Rider and the Best Tour Rider, so I decided I would be nice to him and share the Young category in exchange for a massage.’
  When he finished his sentence, I realised I’d found the answers to the riddle. These guys really were what they looked like and they had all won Awards.
  
  I could have told the answer to the sadistic creature that had been playing this creepy game with me. But as I hadn’t met anyone I liked on my way around the Hostel, I decided the world would be better off with them being locked up in there. Also, obviously, the evil mastermind behind the whole thing was me again. Plot twist, evil laugh, etcetera. See you guys next season!