Online: 64
17:19 GMT         Day 23 of 90, Season 43    

The Jonhatan's Late Show - S3E2
by Yuri, at 2/10-17 - 10:56 GMT


  Written by JonhatanHernandez of
  TeamQuetzal

  
  Hello ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Slow… I mean, Late Show with Johnathan Hernandez!
  
  
  Monologue
  
  
  Is Sagan even human? How can you get back to back to back World Championships?! That is INSANE. Sagan is looking like MJ out there, and it is really nice to see that he went from Sagundo, always second, the eternal loser to one of the most versatile winners the world of road race has ever seen. Sagan´s style is so different, so cool, so “swaggy”. A sprinter that is also one of the greatest cobblers of the world, who can also downhill like a god and can also win in hills?! I think Sagan is the most complete rider of all time, just above Valverde. I do not think Valverde can go above him because of the cobbles and downhill. YES, Valverde climbs better, YES Valverde hills better, YES Valverde TTs better, but I would rather have Sagan on my team than Valverde. Valverde wins hilly classics and that is it. He produces in mountain, but he is not the kind of rider you want to have as GC leader, he will not win. The only GT he won was the 2009 Vuelta, and the competition was trash, the only real threat was Evans, and he finished second. (Sanchez is trash let´s face it). Sagan on the other hand can WIN in GT stages, hilly classics, cobble classics, sprint classics and on the Worlds. I would rather have Sagan.Gosh this is supposed to be comedy…Well, let´s end my analysis here and jump straight into the interview, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, the one, the only… Delion!!
  
  
  
  Interview
  
  
  
  JHDZ: To start it off, how are you?
  DELION: I’m really pleased about my results since my recent comeback. I sincerely had no expectations at all to win a tour GC this season and the TvA is a gigantic surprise! I would have never bought a cobbler if Gonçalves, that I trained myself 10 seasons ago, had not miraculously appeared for sale 10 days before the tour.
  Winning Norwich-London was something I hoped for but Nys was also an underdog there, being a 35 years old nobody found on the transfer list for just 91k. Thanks to TF and things like that, you can always win without spending a lot of money in OCM! I remember when I won both the TvA and the Germany Tour for the first time more than 20 seasons ago, when “experience” didn’t even existed: I had much less money than the top10 teams and still got the most prestigious victories.
  Now I’m filthy rich, but nonetheless, I find the competition harder than ever and it’s obvious that the top managers are way smarter nowadays than in the “dumbasses era” with all the trolls who knew how to cheat but not how to play (Team revolutie…)
  
  JHDZ: What is your favorite set of tactics when in a mountain stage? What about sprint races?
  DELION: Same for both: 1 captain and 5 windbreakers. I hope a lot of managers will follow this example. Especially those in my division.
  
  JHDZ:

What has been your favorite experience or moment in OCM?
  DELION: Becoming n°1 with riders that I trained myself. I always knew that economically it was much more efficient to buy most of the riders on the OCM market. But I trained again and again because it was more fun, and it worked: Melvyn Jégou (“Melvynator”), Cristobal Zubizarreta (the best cobbler ever), Garami Gedeon (3 times WC), Claude Lafon (3 Norwich-London in a row), etc.
  
  JHDZ: Are you really French?
  DELION: Absolument et ceux qui m’ont vu en vrai peuvent le confirmer.
  
  JHDZ: Magnifique! And tell me, how does it feel to be one of the greatest managers to ever play the game?
  DELION: It’s good to be the king.
  
  JHDZ: Do you miss Melvynator? If you could, would you bring him back?
  DELION: Of course I do and of course I would!
  - He was a French cyclist able to win the greatest tour in the world and be n°1, something that I’ve not seen in the real world since my childhood.
  - After I trained him in my own unique way, he was utterly atypical and it was always an exciting challenge to find the races that would suit him the most.
  - He got some of the most unbelievable results ever, winning the GT GC twice despite a lot of rule changes between the 2 victories!
  - His never-ending stream of successes gave seizures to all the usual trolls-losers of OCM and it was so fucking fun to watch, ROFL!
  I will “bring him back” one day… As a trainer.
  
  JHDZ: What do you feel OCM is missing?
  DELION: 1) Less bugs!!! This is the greatest problem in OCM. We don’t need perpetual changes, we need a bug-free game. I’ve had unexpected results that only bugs can explain: in my favor (Melvynator winning a climbing stage, I still have no clue about how it happened) or not (Le Gall finishing ahead of 2 riders in the first 2 stages of the Vuelta and being behind both in the GC at that point! The worst thing you can imagine in a tour: beating other riders make you lose time on them…).
  2) A league of managers who would defend an ethical behavior everywhere, from deals to bugs and beyond. The cheaters were helping each other all the time at some point before they got banned one after the other. Why can’t the good guys unite?
  Maybe we could even be listened to by Nick, for a (much needed) change.
  3) An equilibrium between training riders and buying/selling them. The second way of playing is much more effective because the OCM market is far too low (teams leaving and all). Everyone have ideas to fix this but to get something done we would need such a large support that it will take time. If someone has the will needed...
  
  JHDZ: Who is your favorite OCM rider and manager?
  DELION: Rider = Melvynator.
  Manager = Yann from Matrix team. 100% fair play and honest. Not something that common. And he’s a cool guy too (we met IRL). I like Fissa too: all 3 of us have done a great job at managing the French national team and at translating the game in French (sadly, it has never been implemented AFAIK: why?)


  
  JHDZ: What makes you like cycling?
  DELION: I’m passionate about professional cycling (Tour de France…) and cycling games since I was a child. But since I left Paris, my hometown, I have some troubles finding partners for cycling board games in Fontainebleau (all my friends prefer games with elves, orcs and magic: I can’t blame them).
  
  JHDZ: Any plans for the future of your team?
  DELION: Winning stages and races I’ve never won before like Paris GP, the Essex stages or the WC ITT (my strategy there is pretty straightforward: 6 TTers in TF every season until I drop dead). After sometimes, I will probably take a big break for a while again, that’s why I only hired old guys.
  
  
  
  Would you Rather...
  
  
  
  Now, the game of today: Would you Rather! Y´all know the rules so let us jump straight into it!
  
  JHDZ: Play Minecraft or Roblox?
  DELION: I never played any of those. I’m really really really into cycling board games, that’s not a joke!
  
  JHDZ: Control emotions or weather?
  DELION: Emotions: if everybody (especially at the top) started to really care about global warming, the weather would not go to hell like it does.
  
  JHDZ: Be killed in a Saw movie or in a Final Destination one?
  DELION: Never saw any of those.
  I despise torture porn. It appeals to the worst instincts of mankind (and it’s the opposite of a good turn on for my girlfriend unlike some series).
  
  JHDZ: Be covered in feathers or fur?
  DELION: Fur, it’s more sensual.
  
  JHDZ: Just like me. Not brush your teeth for a month or not taking a shower for a month? (Eww)
  DELION: First one because of the consequences: I’d rather fuck without kissing than the opposite.
  
  JHDZ: Attend Harvard or Yale?
  DELION: Harvard for the Massachusetts spirit (but Yale is more my kind of architecture).
  
  JHDZ: Own Google or Apple?
  DELION: Google, the more power the better.
  
  JHDZ: Own Disney or Microsoft?
  DELION: Disney, I could force them to make a new version of Star Wars episode 7 without plagiarizing the episode 4 this time. They’ll have to keep Rey and BB-8 of course. Ah, Rey….
  
  JHDZ: Get severe frostbite or terrible burns?
  DELION: Frostbites, because I like “cold wave” (see below).
  
  JHDZ: Listen a whole day to Justin Bieber or Rebecca Black?
  DELION: I’ve never listened to their "music" (?) in all my life. I’m into cold wave like Joy Division, quite different. For the “Black” in the name of Rebecca, I chose the latter (if you didn’t already know, “Drapeau Noir” means “Black Flag”).
  
  JHDZ: And that is it for today, thank you very much for being here Delion, and thank YOU for reading and see ya, on the next one!



Comments


NightmareChaos at 12:02 2/10-2017
  well done


TeamQuetzal at 12:53 2/10-2017
  Thanks Finz
  
  JHDZ


Team WonderDee at 17:11 2/10-2017
  Great interview


Cloud Atlas at 18:35 2/10-2017
  Delion, What cycling board games do you recommend?


Drapeau Noir at 19:22 2/10-2017
  Only those available in english or can you read the rules in french?


Cloud Atlas at 19:52 2/10-2017
  I can mostly but probably won't find it if only sold in France. Which of the English titles do you recommend? I have heard of Leader1 and recently saw this list https://boardgamegeek.com/geeklist/142688/top-10-bicycle-racing-games


TeamQuetzal at 22:56 2/10-2017
  Thanks guys. I´d also love to learn about those french games.
  
  JHDZ


Drapeau Noir at 23:30 2/10-2017
  - Um Reifenbreite : a very popular and exciting strategy game. It's quite ugly though (except the original dutch version "Homas tour") and I house-ruled it because for me you can't give for 1st and 2nd place almost the same number of victory points!
  - Leader 1 : very tactical, an unrealistic but really clever game with several extensions.
  - Breakaway rider : a fun and popular card game with awful graphics (except in the beautiful but unavailable original french version "L'échappée"). Very easy to learn.
  + a few strategy games I created myself and didn't try to publish yet. They can be played at my house!


Cloud Atlas at 00:13 3/10-2017
  have you heard of Vassal? http://www.vassalengine.org/wiki/Module:Leader_1 maybe we can set OCM cycling board game day!


Hog Bay CT at 00:32 3/10-2017
  Flamme Rouge is an amazing board game, one of my favourites. We play it all the time in Bermuda... :)
  
  https://boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/199478/flamme-rouge


Drapeau Noir at 03:06 3/10-2017
  @Llotyhy
  I heard Flamme rouge is a great game but as long as it won't involve orcs or elves, my friends won't play it...


Drapeau Noir at 03:12 3/10-2017
  @Milo
  I never play on computers (except OCM obviously)


TeamQuetzal at 03:16 3/10-2017
  I love that board game day idea!
  
  JHDZ


Cloud Atlas at 13:39 3/10-2017
  Maybe you can design a new game about orcs on bikes:)


Drapeau Noir at 14:01 3/10-2017
  I tried!!! :-P
  Hobbits are the best climbers!
  But that game (Trolls à vélo) is not right yet, it needs a lot of testing and improvements.


Indurain team at 22:54 3/10-2017
  Well done!


AnnoDomini at 23:27 3/10-2017
  I also enjoy playing cycling boardgames. I like Devil Takes the Hindmost for simplicity, Breaking Away for free of luck mechanics and Criterium de Figueres also for interesting mechanics. But the best cycling games I played are the ones I designed myself :-)
  PS. You guys obviously know the Anki Toner's website, right?


Drapeau Noir at 02:08 4/10-2017
  I know Anki for years and years! THE specialist in cycling board games:
  http://www.cyclingboardgames.net/


DeRodeLantaarn at 12:07 4/10-2017
  Homas Tour.:)
  It's getting dusty overhere.
  I also made my own rules and when I succeeded in getting the game from my neighbours as well I made 6 teams instead of 4.
  I also made a green and mountain jersey from the riders I had left.


Team Chili at 15:06 4/10-2017
  Great article!


NECFTW at 17:52 4/10-2017
  This didn't dissapoint. Confirming Delion is and will always be the biggest ego manaic in the game.


Drapeau Noir at 18:19 4/10-2017
  Noppes didn't disappoint, confirming he's and always will be the biggest troll in the game.


NECFTW at 18:28 4/10-2017
  Yay!


mapei bianchi at 20:25 6/10-2017
  Nice interview!
  


Drapeau Noir at 01:56 7/10-2017
  OCM board game party in Paris!
  Very soon, 3 team managers who never met before will fight each other at Um Reifenbreite. If you wanna be the 4th, PM me!


V02maXXers at 12:59 7/10-2017
  Flamme rouge is awesome
  My favourite boardgame is not cycling related though. It is diplomacy