Written by Don Hamstre from Schiavi di Don
The OCM world is a world full of wonder. And also a world full of craziness. The Green Fairy is here to tell you about all that, and more. Every month, a new edition will be landing on your doormat!
With a mix of returning columns and topical short stories, this tabloid will inform the reader about all that’s going on in the OCM World.
History and Myths: The Tale of the Green Fairy
Cycling is a sport where it is of the utmost importance to be well prepared. Any advantage over others can be the difference between winning or losing. That is why, deep in the Russian forests, the laboratory of NightmareChaos was testing to find new ways to get an edge. They tried medicine, they tried mechanics. But one day, they discovered that the biggest advantage was to be gained in the mystical world. They noticed that one of their test riders was visited by a Green Fairy one night. For the following 12 days, this rider was unbeatable. Soon after, the rumours about this Green Fairy spread to Greenride, and then the OCM World. Since that discovery, the managers of OCM have discovered the optimal ways and moments to get the Green Fairy to visit their riders. Some say that it even is impossible to win a big race without the Fairy!
Classic Highlights of the Month
- Yuri SuperTeam became the first ever One Nation Team to win the World Championships! (not counting the opening seasons where not having a one nation team was more of a challenge than having one)
- The early season Division 1 Classics delivered much excitement, with Team Oasis, Jubalon ProCycling, and Cokol Breakaway Team adding to their palmares.
- Meanwhile in Division 6, Budapest Meeting Point was
won by Leroy Faile of POM Wonderful.
- On the beautiful island of Sicily, Ralph Trubee managed to win Classico di Siracusa for his team Gominola.
- The Division 2 classic Ainet - Bruggen was won by PEKAC B, with a strong team effort. Kyrgyzstan had a shining moment in Minsk CBGP, where Vladislav Sorokin took home the trophy for chupacabra.
- Brebes-Brebes fell prey to Junee Racing Team, as Jeffery Elliott was the strongest of the pack.
Before the Tour (but probably after)
In this section, our special reporter Yuri will give some valuable insight into the Tours of OCM. Whether it's short reviews of the tours, or stories about the tours, Yuri is the man to give you all you need to know. He will start his enlightening work before the Tour!
The Travels of Fujimoto
In this column, the famous Fujimoto Masaaki travels around the world to visit the nicest places on the OCM Calender. Right now, he is still busy travelling, but in our upcoming editions, our reporter Finz will tell you his special stories!
The Dark Side
- The place to be for all your Time Trial news!
96 Ole defended his crown with Ernst Woering winning in Kumponai ITT
- Bjørnar Fjeld not only won the WC ITT title, but also reigned supreme in Porto Prologue. His team got 5 out of 6 riders in the top-9 there!
- The Giro di Montelbano, in honor of one of the greatest Time Trialers ever, was won by Canadian Drake Polsen
- Rumours about the arrival of new and improved time trial equipment are yet to be confirmed by OCM Development.
This section will keep you informed about unlucky riders who got injured. Poor them!
- Michael Dale cascaded off the
side of a steep descent in Guatemala. He is out until day 28.
- Emilio Giofrola celebrated his win in Dublin-Sligeach in S58 with a little too much champagne before the s59 Edition, and crashed out. He recovered on day 23.
- Nicolas Strobl crashed and dislocated his shoulder in Oslo Rundtur. His First Aid Doctor put it right back in and he finished in 6th place, but after the race it turned out the damage was a bit worse than expected. He’s out until day 28.
- Alfonso Coimbra finished his race despite some heavy saddle pain. After the race, it turned out he had to rest a while to make the humps go away again.
The Final Straight
We close off with the latest gossip!
- Sources close to the team say that Daley Yankowski demanded to be sold away from Alpine immediately, after he got two mechanical issues in the same race. He now has a new home at ABK.
- 83 year old Äme Anderberg was seen running on the side of the road during Alpe D’Huez Classic, allegedly holding a sign saying ‘Your grandpa could go faster than this’.
- According to our local reporter, the French government is considering legal action against the OCM Developers because of ‘using the wrong colour blue in our flag’.
We’ll be back next month with more news on all the wheelings and dealings in OCM!
If you have ideas for your own section, or for new sections for us to write, or even if you want your rider mentioned in one of the sections, you can contact main editor Don Hamstre through PM. Especially input for Hemorrhoid Corner and The Final Straight is welcomed!
VCBM Outlet store, the place for all your barely used, but top level products! Guaranteed to be worth more than we sell them for!