Written by JonhatanHernandez of
The night is cold, dark. Not a soul in the streets of Queretaro. At the traffic light, green, yellow, red alternate. I sit. I think. A lot of things. That have no place in being written here. What matters is that among the latter, I enjoy writing. And cycling. And OCM. I´ve come to realize that I miss interviewing random people on this game that somehow caught my attention and has come to be a part of my routine. After a year break, ladies and gentlemen welcome to season 7even of the Late Show with JHDZ!
Alright, I´m back lmao. Not much happening in the cycling world right now, so this really won´t have much punchlines. Bernal looks nice. Froome looks nice. Everyone in Sky looks great, like always. And we are one month away from them to be known as Team INEOS. How convenient for them to be sponsored by chemicals amirite. Nice to know I still have the shitty jokes in my repertoire hehe. Without further ado, give a huge to the one, the only: Rustgold from Australian Warlord!
JHDZ: To start it off, how are you?
RUSTGOLD: Currently? Well, I’m currently 37% insanity, 22% nuts, 15% crazed, 13% loon, 11% water, and 2% various trace minerals. Did you expect a straight (or sane) answer?
JHDZ: Not really, and those are quite nice percentages. I am convinced I am 75% percent water. What made you start playing OCM?
RUSTGOLD: From memory I searched for manager games, saw a group of five cycling games listed on some site, and picked one who’s players weren’t negatively spam-voting the others. Then RL got in the way, so the team sat idle for almost six years, which is a pity because the team would have been bigger than Sky by now.
JHDZ: I mean you do have like 5 million dollars sitting in there...Anyway, what has been your favorite in-game win??
RUSTGOLD: Division 3 Judenburg Climbs #12 from my first time in the game. But it’ll soon be beaten. Watch this space.
JHDZ: We´ll be watching! Are you really Australian?
RUSTGOLD: Yes. My mother’s side were early 1800s free settlers who ended up operating businesses for several generations, and my father’s side came out pre-WW1.
JHDZ: Very informative. What is the story behind your username?
RUSTGOLD: I’m glad you didn’t say team name, because,
well I forget it’s beginning, and is probably an insane asylum admission ticket. Rustgold was the kennel name of the dog we owned as a child. Dogs recognized as pure-breds used to have kennel names, for whatever reason.
JHDZ: Finally, something not answered slyly! Hehehe. I love dogs. Is cycling your favorite sport? If so, why?
RUSTGOLD: No. I’m a fan of Ice Hockey. Or any form of indoor hockey, inline hockey, etcetera, as we’re not in a cold country. I would like cycling, but the corruption regarding drugs in the sport and selective administration in general means my values can’t support the RL sport.
JHDZ: It is a shame that cycling is infested with the doping epidemic. It seems to be an intrinsic part of the sport...Who is your favorite cyclist?
RUSTGOLD: Unfortunately, a few of these turned out to be (known) drug cheats, so I won’t mention them. When I did watch cycling, I tended to be a fan of those who’d shake things up, particularly breakaway cyclists such as Thomas De Gendt. Was also a fan of Robbie McEwen.
JHDZ: Who is your favorite OCM rider and manager?
RUSTGOLD: Those in my team & myself. Seriously though, I’ve got 27 teams on my contact list, but I can’t pick a favorite. I either like, or don’t, that’s it.
JHDZ: What do you consider to be your greatest in game achievement?
RUSTGOLD: Making over 100k clear profit butchering (AV doping) poor old Alvin Gusberg, not including race profits. Incidentally, he delivered my only Div3 win to date, right before he got dumped. His career didn’t end well.
JHDZ: Favorite in game memory?
RUSTGOLD: Butchering cyclists for profit. Too bad that’s not feasible nowadays, well mostly, although I did manage an around $16k profit from a butchering job recently.
JHDZ: Any plans for the future of your team?
RUSTGOLD: Well I have Grant Cook & Finn McCracken, both unmaxed. We have to see who joins them.
JHDZ: We´ll see, we´ll see. I am sure you could by the top 10 cyclists in the rankings right now :) Let us now move to the game...
Would you rather! Y´all know how this works.
JHDZ: Be the first to be killed in a group, or be theist one?
RUSTGOLD: Totally theist. I’ve actually got a list of names, well actually several lists, just in case.
JHDZ: And that is why one should proofread what he writes...Supposed to say the last in there... LOL. Be electrocuted every time you swear, or have all profanities censored out on your television?
As my TV’s power plug has been sitting on the shelf next to the TV for a long time, you can censor anything you like.
JHDZ: Be able to kill anyone by writing their name in a notebook, or be able to heal anyone of any injury/illness, or revive the dead via a kiss?
RUSTGOLD: Revive the dead with a kiss? Gross. Somebody’s been watching too many vampire “romance” and zombie movies (technically they aren’t zombies but digressing). Anyway, as I’ve previously mentioned, I’ve already got several lists of names, so why waste it. Plus, the death route is worth so much more money. I believe the CIA has a few wanted rewards going for $25m, $100m, or something. Knock off a few terrorists, and use that money to do lots of good, or invade a few countries, not sure which. You can’t buy that healing people, and regardless, I’m not into ministry cable TV.
JHDZ: I would argue a bit with you but as I mentioned before, OCM is not the place to rant philosophically: D Live where there was no such thing as music, or where there was no such thing as art?
RUSTGOLD: Given what’s classified as art, I believe we’re already living that one.
JHDZ: Be immortal, or die right now?
RUSTGOLD: The immortal bit, well immortality would have to come with permanent good health and sound mind, the second of which is impossible. Then again, if I’m totally crazed, I wouldn’t know the difference, so let’s go with immorality, others can work out what to do with a crazed immortal later.
JHDZ: Have a one night stand, or have a friend with benefits?
RUSTGOLD: So a one in six gamble at a health affecting STD every night, or a one in six gamble with a friend and hope they aren’t also going elsewhere?
JHDZ: Time travel or teleportation?
RUSTGOLD: As time travel can’t work for future timelines (as the future hasn’t happened yet), and going back in time to put on lotto tickets would break time, time travel would be lame, so teleport me to the secret stashes of gold I can steal from. Will also accept teleporting in and out of vaults containing cash, diamonds, emeralds, etc.
Anyway, thanks for the invite, and don’t worry about those men in white uniforms scoping out the place. By the way, you wouldn’t happen to have a secret rear exit anywhere?
JHDZ: We do have it over there, and....where did he go??? Jesus, hello white suit guys. Umm, I suppose I have to leave now. What do you mean police? Alright this is getting out of hand, Ladies and gentlemen that was Rustgold! A big applause for him, and see you on the next one!