Online: 44
20:47 GMT         Day 55 of 90, Season 46    

OCM-awards leads to havoc in Efteling

Written by Team Oasis at 23:02 25/6-2016

  A sudden outrage from tour rider Jim Deuring led to a series of serious incidents in the famous Dutch theme park. The local hero demolished lawns, flowerbeds and damaged many of the landmarks. Meanwhile he shouted "stupid inifidels, burn in hell!"
  
  Allegedly Jim's rage came from missing a nomination for best tour rider. The category was now 'taken by riders who should not even be allowed to stand in his shadow', he said earlier this week. Jim snapped after he heard that Yanik Arda was not voted as best downhiller and Team Oasis received no award at all.
  
  Together with Arda he went on a rampage that started in the Fairy Woods. Deuring urinated on Roodkapje, while Arda tried to 'fire' the dragon from its duty with molotov cocktails. Their next stop was Holle Bolle Gijs. Deuring took a dump right inside the poor fella's mouth. He wiped off his butt with a voting paper from the awards. Then they both smashed the interior of several Laaf houses. Droomvlucht became an acid journey, as camera footage clearly showed. You see both of them kissing and touching the figures and some they make up like evil or misformed clowns with stuff they stole from the Laafs.
  Later on it became more vile. On one of the camera's you can see that an Elf is brutally molested. It is unclear whom of the two did that. Similar stuff carries on for a while, including grafity aimed at the Awards Committee on the Pagoda ("Vote leave for the blind dogs of OCM") and they race around the park with golf carts, damaging nice flower arrangements.
  
  Both riders eventually got caught by park security and taken to management to explain their behaviour. It is not clear if Team Oasis should leave the Efteling for good. Team manager Nooky Lair states that nothing crucial was damaged and that their rage was authentical. He however said the he will request his riders to show revenge in the races yet to come.

Archives

Subscribers: 32

Geovanni Iaconzzo 'smuggled' back to Italy

  Due to new trade bans and further uncertainty about trade relationships we see no other option than to let Geovanni Iaconzzo go. The ugly, bald casanova will mo...

10/10-2018

Raging over Falafel

  What nutter ever wrote that falafel is healthy, falafel is good. I have to admit that our cook Mina does a terrific job in making tasy food with it, but one can...

13/9-2018

The trumpets blow for Irani trades

  Government actions from the US have not taken its toll on the cycling world of Iran. Having lived a fairly isolated OCM-existence thus far we now see several tr...

1/9-2018

S45 review

  Inspired by our German-Dutch friend LammeFrans management has decided to shine a light on its performance this season. Like V02maXXers it has been the best seas...

20/8-2018

Ugly Italian seeks refuge

  What a commotion today. Our busdriver Bahoz rang the door during afternoon prayer. The much required silence was immediately broken. What he brought home we...

4/1-2018

"Thank Gott for this opportunity"

  A very suprising name appeared on the transfer list yesterday. Yanik Arda, the star of Team Oasis moved to Tashkent Browncoats. Today he explains why he left. ...

8/11-2017

Iran sponsors OCM Survivor

  OCM survivor has received a substantial donation from the Islamic Republic of Iran. In an attempt to support the organizers it sent a group of German Atlas-cran...

12/10-2017

Iran founds national downhill institute

  It is a glorious day for Iran cycling. As of today the Iran Downhill Intelligence Organization and Training Information Center (IDIOTIC) has come to life. The r...

27/9-2017

Revenge tastes salty

  Fruitless as last season was, we opted for a new approach to the season. Global warming seems to increase temperatures, so it is a big plus if you can stand the...

1/6-2017

Involuntary dropdown may be a blessing

  Recent changes in rules and regulations proved to have a major effect on our humble, Iranian team. We are no longer able to sustain ourselves on the highest lev...

18/2-2017

Record breaking season

  We are over the moon by the performances of our two stallions: Yanik Arda and Dominic Haidegger. This season they gathered an astonishing 1.070 points in the do...

28/11-2016

Pathways

  We drift over wet roads, we feel good though it is not our moment nor time. Life has become a series of practicalities. We have lost intuition and we have lost ...

5/11-2016

So the leaves are falling down

  Yesterday i walked to the edge of a cliff. Looking down i see a few goats eating dry bush. Its a peaceful, soothing sight. For a moment i'm relaxed, not as stre...

27/10-2016

Reuring around Deuring

  What many people were anticipating on is about to become reality. Jim Deuring has likely done his last tour for Team Oasis. He leaves captaincy with a solid 3rd...

17/10-2016

Special anniversary jersey launched

  Out now in our merchandise shop the brand new jersey ''Jubilee Force Oasis". The jersey celebrates 20 seasons of Iran successes in OCM. It will be first shown i...

30/9-2016

Limelight for a winning team mate

  There are riders that live a quiet life on OCM, unnoticed by the crowds. Some may be a jobber, some will be reliable team mates but there are also real strongho...

14/9-2016

Succesful Salvatore retires in Italy

  Pizza at Momma's place is what drove Nari Salvatore () back to Italy. mapei bianchi offered him a staff position, so today he said farewell to Iran. He returns ...

6/8-2016

Arda doesn't chicken out in Chennai

  Chennai - Pondicherry is a tough nut to crack. Riding there can be a quite overwhelming experience in a negative way. Last season Yanik Arda got scared along th...

30/6-2016

OCM-awards leads to havoc in Efteling

  A sudden outrage from tour rider Jim Deuring led to a series of serious incidents in the famous Dutch theme park. The local hero demolished lawns, flowerbeds an...

25/6-2016

Season 36 points count

  At first glance one would comment that our team didn't do too well. Ended at a bleak 38th spot with 7 results less than the season before. However it has perhap...

18/6-2016

Swiss double for Oasis

  We are very proud to see the results of todays World Tour races. A total of 4 riders from our team captained for their nation and all did very well. We congratu...

15/5-2016

Deuring shakes of mañana mañana

  The beauty sleep is finally over. Seasons after two great wins overseas, Team Oasis shook off the Murican ghost. We have now won a major tour in division one as...

18/4-2016

Season 35 points count

  Last season our humble team peaked as never before. Not only we grabbed points like usual but we were also often able to compete for the podium. This resulted i...

8/3-2016

(Un)kucky competition seals deal with Kuckident

  Especially for the OCM (un)kucky competition Fixodent has reintroduced its former brandname Kukident as Kuckident. The famous denture adhesive paste has been fu...

26/1-2016

Burundian OCM-officials unwelcome in Iran

  It is no longer allowed to travel to Iran for Burundian OCM-officials. Iran says it doesn't wish to support cycling nations whose policies are 'undemocratic'. T...

12/1-2016

Second victory in Andorra

  It took some time but now Emerson Prewitt has won us Juberri - Canolic for a second time. Last year Prewitt finished second, our third second place there. That ...

27/12-2015

Comments


Team Oasis at 09:59 26/6-2016
  so it was corruption

Tashkent Browncoats at 23:50 25/6-2016
  maybe he should've voted with that bill instead of wiping his ass with it

Schiavi di Don at 23:42 25/6-2016
  The committee does not take responsibility for any of these actions. Iran should have just paid us more.

NightmareChaos at 23:36 25/6-2016
  i was never invited :) No need for that in my team

Other Team's Press Releases
Tour Design Competition - My preferences
  Following Team WonderDee, who made a list of what he thought to be the best suggestions, I’m here presenting my views on this great competition. To stay objec...

26/6-2017

Comments (3)

Training Frenzy
Back to Glory? What next?