Written by JonhatanHernandez of
TeamQuetzal
Hello ladies and gentlemen and this is the Late Show with Johnathan Hernández!
Monologue
Tom Dumoulin took the Giro d´Italia on the last stage in a vibrant thriller. Quintana finished second at 31 seconds and Nibali in third at 53. Here is the picture of Tom Dumoulin´s trophy: (technical problems, please stand by...) Damn, I am good at this Dupooplin jokes. Haha! Congratulations to him, first Dutch to win the Giro, unlike OCM, where everyone who wins seems to be Dutch. (I´m the best comedian in dis place boi) In other news Trump just came back from his trip in Europe, and the memes were not absent, I´ll let YOU look for them. The “Pope” ones are finesse, unlike the “poop” ones from Dumoulin haha! Ok, enough of lame jokes that clearly show my lack of comedic talent and let´s jump straight to what everybody came from, please welcome the one, the only (and most requested and beloved) Dwalin!!!
Interview
JHDZ: To start it off, how are you?
DWALIN: Hi, I'm fine, thanks. As always, a little bit tired, but that's normal. ;)
JHDZ: What is most memorable cycling memory?
DWALIN: Uhm, my most memorable cycling memory (and what made me really get interested in cycling) would be Norwegian TV2's broadcast of 1998 Tour de France.
Clueless, but enthusiastic commentator and poor broadcast quality did not at all diminish the awesomeness that was a supercharged Pantani going on to win the double.
More recent would be Contador’s panachesque wins in Giro (2015) and Vuelta (2014) - weak team, strong opposition, yet succeeding.
Couple that with commentary from Roberto Vacchi and it becomes _very_ memorable.
JHDZ: How did you join OCM and what made you stay?
DWALIN: I had previously played some other online games that became big time hogs (most notable Travian). I wanted a somewhat strategic game I could play casually (not having to monitor the account 24/7). OCM seemed interesting enough since I liked cycling.
The fact that OCM is semi-based on a sport I like and that | | it is possible to play it casually makes me stay (HogbayCT would probably choke from seeing "casually" and "OCM" in the same sentence).
JHDZ: This might seem rather funny, but how do you manage to always be online in the chat?
DWALIN: Ah, uh, I don't use the game's chat interface, I just run an IRC-client on a computer that's always online. Why leave when you don't have to? ;)
JHDZ: How would you describe yourself?
DWALIN: A grumpy, grumpy old man. Also, pedantic.
Did I mention grumpy? definitively grumpy.
JHDZ: Why do you like cycling?
DWALIN: Hmm, because of the suffering, I think. I like endurance sports.
JHDZ: Why is your team named like it is?
DWALIN: Hmm, it's slightly difficult to explain.
TL; DR: Byttingvik means "bay of misfits" - I think it fits me and my team. ;)
Bytting is the Norwegian term for what's in German called "Wechselbalg" and in Danish called "skifting".
It is a term from the dark ages - they believed a mythical misfit baby replacement could be put in the cradle instead of the real baby.
The bytting/wechselbalg/skifting is oddly shaped and does nothing but scream and annoy the poor parents.
Since I jokingly consider myself a misfit it made sense to use it in the team name. Incidentally it also fits most of my team. :)
I do have a tendency to train weird riders (I call them potatoes, Andeby would call them useless).
JHDZ: What would be your OCM Dream Team (you can choose retired riders)?
DWALIN: Ouch, I'm pretty much clueless here, as I haven't paid enough attention to the OCM history.
I'll do it the easy way, I'll settle for a team consisting of riders that would make HogbayCT, chili or Nefal cry with envy (or disgust). ;)
JHDZ: Who is your favorite OCM manager and rider?
DWALIN: I would have to say chili due to self-preservation.
He has helped me a lot lately and has made me able to claw my way up to div2.
He is a nice guy despite being an aussie.
Since I am pretty much clueless about the riders of other teams I must do the ultimate sin and nominate
| | one of my own riders: Philip De Weert.
He is basically being wasted in my team, but I am sure he could do great things in any other half-decent team.
JHDZ: What is your favorite part of the game?
DWALIN: The casual nature of the gaming - that if you know your way around most of the game you don't necessarily have to spend hours a day playing it.
The banter in the chat is also a big plus.
Weirdeos
So tonight´s game ladies and gentleman is Weirdeos. Now Weirdeos consists on me sending the guest 5 videos, and he have to watch them. He will then write your impressions and thoughts on them. I´ll leave the link if readers want to watch them (Not recommended). (WARNING: they are really weird and have nothing to do with cycling)
JHDZ: Ok, first video! (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVN-wjJxOSc)
DWALIN: ugh, video1 makes me become VERY skeptical about what might come next.
Also, somewhat apprehensive about the host's sanity.
Other than that, actually almost chuckleable.
JHDZ: Haha! Second one (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GgtJREBrWBE)
DWALIN: Hnngh! urge to stop video reached infinity around the 40s mark.
Sanity of host definitively being questioned. Did you get these videos from Finz?
JHDZ: Some nice songs boy. Not even Finz has videos as fine as these. Next one (https://youtu.be/ffDPTKn7HiY)
DWALIN: oh god oh god oh god.
JHDZ: (https://youtu.be/G5KxZ5Lc_YA)
DWALIN: Hnngh, I feel my inner grumpiness approaching lethal threshold.
Why oh why did anyone 1) make this? 2) publish this?
JHDZ: It´s catchy… Last one! (https://youtu.be/9C_HReR_McQ)
DWALIN: That this is close to watchable says _A LOT_ of 2, 3 and 4.
The perceived improvement is not sufficient to save the impression of host's sanity, though.
Thanks for having me, it's an honor to be invited. Now I'm off to bleach my retinas from watching these horrible videos.
JHDZ: Haha! Ladies and gentlemen, a huge applause for Dwalin and his poor eyes and see ya, on the next one!
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