Written by don hamstre of Schiavi di Don
  
  The night had not even started yet, but it was already way too busy for the little hamster to feel comfortable. A Mexican started to count down, some Norwegians were staring at him waiting to do his thing, a Bermudan whispered something in his tiny ear. The hamster felt very uncomfortable. In the room, someone was passing Stroopwafels, which made a sound that agitated the little hamster even more. Some Spaniards were rolling out a banner supporting some guy named Timo. The little hamster was afraid of banners, as he had been run over by a World Peace Rally in his young years. If only he could have run away, but he was stuck in his spinning wheel.
  Suddenly, the spotlights guided their beams at the podium. The Bermudan steps up and at the same time, the little hamster had gotten so frightened by the lights that he started to speak. The Awards Gala, because that was where this little hamster was running his wheel, had started out awkwardly. It wouldn’t get better for the little hamster though.
  
  The little hamster had a miniscule earphone in his tiny ears. Voices were whispering numbers and names, the little hamster was disturbed by them. His natural reflexes urged him to just call them out loud, and so he did.
  ‘The Sieuwerd Schimmel Trophy for Best Cobbler goes to Andrea Camata’, were his first words. The Spanish supporters gave the little hamsters angry looks, which made him very stressed.
  ‘The Gregory Levis Trophy for Best Time Trialer goes to Foncho Reto’,said the hamster in an attempt to soften the mood. This seemed to work, it even resulted in a little cheer from the crowd.
  Strengthened by this support, the little hamster continued with a frivolity. ‘The battle for The Truman Vancil Trophy for Best Hiller is between Sebastiao Catalan and Geir Holter, with Catalan taking the Award!’. The crowd seemed happy with the announcement that Holter didn’t win. The little hamster was starting to get more confident about the success of this night.
  ‘The Winner of the Jan-Joost Dussel Trophy is, with a five-point margin, Denis Buch’. This seemed to surprise the crowd. This made the little hamster uncertain about himself. Was he doing things right? Is the colour

beige really that boring? How big is the biggest carnivore rabbit of Saint Kitts and Nevis? These questions might not seem relevant to you, but I can assure you, at that moment, they were to the little hamster.
  
  In the meantime, a video was shown in which a teddy bear got an operation. The little hamster was obsessed with his existential questions and therefore ignorant of this happening. This meant he was very much off the boil when a group of Bermudans had burst into laughter.
  In an attempt to settle down the crowd, he continued reproducing the whispering sounds in his earphones. ‘The Sterling Dorsher Trophy for Best Climber has only three points between winner and runner-up’. Then the little hamster heard a strange noise in his ear. ‘Jastrzebski’ he heard, which made him very uncomfortable. The sound gave him the chills.
  The next thing he heard was ‘The Elias Márquez Trophy for Best Tour Rider goes to Farruco Alonso’. Some Norwegian bloke shouted ‘told you so’ at the little hamster. This made him very nervous indeed.
  ‘The Award for Best Old Rider has been given to Theodor Holtslag’, were his next words. A Polish guy started rumours that Holtslag wasn’t even in the peloton any more. The little hamster had no idea how to respond to this, and a video clip showing Japanese music didn’t make him settle his nerves.
  His next words, ‘The Award for Best Young Rider will be handed out to Geir Holter’, did not improve his situation. The crowd was dissatisfied and started yelling at the little hamster.
  ‘Best Breakthrough Rider is Jedrzej Domanski’ the hamster replied, starting to panick. This was a good move, as the winning manager was in the room and therefore got some attention.
  The little hamster decided that he would go with the flow and continued with ‘Best Breakthrough Team is Cokol Breakaway Team’. This sparkled an unexpected reaction, as the winning manager stept up on the podium telling his nipples were tingling. This made the hamster feel very uncomfortable, as he has had previous encounters with tingling nipples, most of them ranging from unpleasant to traumatic.
  
  Some spooky music gave him a little time to get himself together again, but the little hamster

still had unpleasant thoughts when the words ‘Best Rider Outside Top Division is Kyle Wyles’ were passing his lips. His score resulted in boo’s from the crowd though and the hamster was increasingly getting worried about the circumstances he was in.
  He then, however, made a crucial mistake. ‘The Äme Anderberg Trophy for best Rider of the Season goes to Geir Holter’, was not a popular sentence with the crowd at all. More boo’s and yells were directed at the little hamster, who was starting to feel smaller and smaller.
  He tried to rescue his situation by saying ‘The Award for Best Manager Outside Top Division goes to Mark’. The Bermudian people were not happy with this though and things started to look very grim indeed for the little hamster.
  His heart sank when he heart himself announcing the next result. ‘The Award for Best Manager of the Season goes to Chris Fabio’. Rotten tomatoes started to fly towards him. The little hamster was hit by most of them, as a spinning wheel does not offer many escape routes.
  The little hamster was very desperate now, so he cried out at the top of his voice ‘The Award for Best World Tour Manager goes to Llotyhy of Bermuda!’. This was a wise move by the little hamster. The Bermudans, who had a major part in the rebellion, were satisfied, and their leader even did a speech, which gave the little hamster a very welcomed break from the center of attention.
  His mood was starting to improve when he heart that there was only one category left to announce. ‘The brand new Award for Best Downhiller goes to Travis McPherson’, were his final words of the evening. Or at least, that was what the little hamster was hoping.
  He wanted to leave, but nobody let him out of the spinning wheel. The little hamster spent the rest of the evening having to watch Japanese music video’s.
  
  Massively traumatised, but thankful to be alive, the little hamster woke up two days later. He then got picked up and thrown against the wall by an outraged Australian saying he should have won Best Australian.
  Life of the OCM Awards Committee Chairman can be very hard indeed. Let’s hope next year, our little hamster will have to be less nervous about the OCM Awards Gala. Be sure not to miss it!